you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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