ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
