im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize