literally had 100 drinks last night.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
