I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
