In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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