i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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