What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
