While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
