I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
