Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Randomize
