wake up i wanna do it froggy style
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize