I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
