Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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