he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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