the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize