i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
