hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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