At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
