I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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