The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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