Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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