I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
