I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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