my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
This toilet bowl is my home.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
