I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
