If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
