sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just cropdusted the office
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
