I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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