is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
