His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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