so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
the condom got lost in my hair
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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