i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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