It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
