it was like his penis was on wheels.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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