Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Acid is not a monday night drug
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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