My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
