I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
