meet me or not, i'm out of control
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
