she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
