You're my little dorito
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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