talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
you never un-have a 4some
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