i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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