Do you still have your period?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
