do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
