it was like his penis was on wheels.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
