I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever