Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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