Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.