did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
