hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
