garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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