You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
