Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
