they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
