Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Barsexuality is the new black.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
