I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
