FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
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I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
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Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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