thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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