The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
